I’m not dead if you didn’t know

Jeez- I finally got to updating my fat blog, and now I can FINALLY update this one too- it’s been wayyyy too long.

So, college news- I made Dean’s List! yay! My Grades:

Principles of Cultural Anthropology – A
General Psychology – A
Chinese 1 – A
Anatomy & Physiology 1 - B+
Intro Chemistry – B

Soooo I’m pretty happy about that. Finals week was pretty much hell. Sadly, I just kinda gave up by the time I had Chemistry and A&P. For Chem I just didn’t care (because I was pretty sure it wouldn’t transfer). Plus, the teacher was kind of confusing.. Plus I had to study major for all of my other finals and I had my A&P final at 8 in the morning and Chem right after it at 10:30… Blegh. I studied for the A&P lecture final but none at all for the lab final. It was my last final and I just didn’t care anymore- I wanted to go home. Plus, by that time I knew I got an 80 on the lecture final, so even if I got a 100 on my lab, I still wouldn’t have an A in the class, and even if I got a 0 I would still have a B- I just thought screw it.

Thankfully I will never have to go back to that school again. I will now say ‘Yay’.

Today I just finished up buying my textbooks for Spring semester for my new college! yay!! I bought most of the from the store, except for 3 novel type books (not textbooks)… I was going to do that with all of the non-textbooks but it was just too much of an effort. I would’ve gotten a good deal on them with Amazon’s free shipping on orders over 25$ thing, but the estimated arrival date was in February- which is just NO. That won’t work. So I just thought whatever and ordered the rest from the bookstore. It’s not like it was $100 more to buy from the store- it’s definitely more expensive, but not by such a drastic amount. I hope not anyway… Hopefully I will be able to get all used textbooks.. We’ll see anyway. Textbooks suck no matter how you look at them..

I also got my roommate and dorm room! I’m on the same floor as Nikki! yay!!!! I’m so excited!!! I’ve been emailing my future roommate and she seems nice enough- so that’s good. It will be sooo nice to not be living in a triple. To actually have space! Heaven!! Plus, she said she goes home every weekend to work- so I’ll have some alone time for a change (compared to always being around 2 other people all the time). I’ll be able to use my own fridge and TV and a huge closest and space under the bed and the bed will be near the ground and just… it will be great!

I’m just soo excited to start at my new school! It’s way smaller (1,700 compared to 12,000 students), it’s all girls (not as much pressure about having a boyfriend and not feeling like they are everywhere lol. I had gender segregated classes in 8th grade, and they were awesome. It was so much less pressure when there weren’t boys there), it’s a beautiful campus, my biggest class has 50 people (compared to 200 for everyclass) and all the rest have 25 or less, I can go swimming (they have and indoor pool! I am SO looking foreward to that), and I have some friends there already (and apparently someone who wants to be my friend! lol).. I really just can’t wait.

But I’m still nervous… Nervous it won’t be what I expected, nervous the teachers won’t like me, nervous I won’t be able to handle all the work, nervous I won’t make any new friends, nervous I won’t be able to speak up or be outgoing, nervous I’ll be like I was at my old school, nervous about the increase cost of the bill for this school, nervous about being nervous… But I think it will all be worth it. I think this is what I want… Now i just have to wait to get there!

Now that I got my own luggage thing (whatever it’s called lol) I’ve already started to pack it with a few things I’m so excited! I just want to pack it for real and put all my stuff in it. Plus, my dad sold our old car and we now have a different one, and it’s getting inspected tonight, so hopefully it’ll be ready for me to take to college with me- yay! Then I can drive to Wegmans and Target and stuff! YAY! (Wegman’s is amazing).. (not sure I’m spelling it right lol). I just want to get there so I can start having the college experience I wanted to have since last Fall that never happened. I just want to pack all my things and move into my new room. I want to get all my textbooks and start looking at them ahead of time. I want to walk around and find all of my classes so I don’t get lost the next day.

I also found a list that has a ‘Transfer Orientation to Do’ type vibe- it seems helpful since the ‘real’ orientation is on the first day of classes (which sucks a little, but I can make the time) so my plan for the day I move in goes as follows:

1. Move in
2. Get ID
3. Get Textbooks
4. Register Vehicle & get Gym tab (these are both maybe’s)
5. Find Nikki so we can scout our where our classroom’s our
6. Take some pictures with my new camera
7. Go on mini tour of college (with the transfer orienation list thing)

anddd that’s about it. I dunno what’s going on that night- but I’m assuming I’ll probably meet a bunch of new people (yay!)… (and nervous! yay!.. why I am always so worried whether people will like me or not?)… Seriously, I think I’m going to have a panic attack I’m so excited and nervous at the same time!

Well, I guess that’s all for now… Hopefully I’ll update sometime before I leave for school, but I can’t garuntee it. There will definitely be more posting once I have my high speed laptop up and running at school!

 

Last day of Classes

Mkay, well I am happy to say that I think I have found the last gift I needed to finish my friend Christmas shopping… I’ll probably have to wait till I get home to buy it, but it is perfecto! 

And I am done with classes now! yay! 

… now all I have to worry about is finals… blergh…

God I’m going to be studying all weekend… I hope I can make it through the week.. But I get to go home Thursday- THANK GOODNESS! And then I am DONE with this school! yay!!

mkay, I really need to stop procrastinating by shopping for Emily’s (sorry, Emuhlee- I think.. I spell it differently every darn time) Christmas present lol. But I’ve found it, so I no longer need to look.

Maybe I should make my own Christmas list here…. hmmm

and I’m thinking I will make posts about what I have learned over this past semester to reflect and such… because being reflect-y is fun.

 

Why can’t I study???

blargh.. I haven’t updated here in forever! Sadly, when I go home for breaks, my laptop does not have any internet connection, so no interwebzz for me. Over Christmas break I’ll use the desktop PC at home because it’s way too long a time to go without being able to be online, but over Thanksgiving I just didn’t bother.

So, my current dilemma is that I just can’t bring myself to study… I just can’t! I know I have finals all next week, and that I need to study for them- but I can’t bring myself to do it… This is horrible. I don’t know why I feel this way. I know this has happened to me before, but I don’t know how to get over it. I just don’t want to study, I’m so tired of it.

Maybe I’m just experiencing study burn out or something… Maybe I am too busy counting down the days (8) until I can leave this damn school… Maybe I just can’t bring myself to care… I really don’t know.

In any case- it needs to stop. I need to study. I have to know my stuff. I really want an A in Anatomy, but the only way for me to get an A is if I get a 100% on the lab final and at least an 86% on the Lecture Final. I don’t know if I’ll be able to pull that off… 

I also need to do well on my Chem final. Apparently my average (minus the final) is a 91, which is an A; so I’m happy about that. But if I want to keep that I need to do well on my final.

Actually, for most of my finals I’m in pretty good shape- I’ve got 310 out 300 points from my Chinese tests, so I could lose 10 points on my final and still have a 100%. In Psych and Anthropology I’ve got a 4.0- so in all my classes it wouldn’t destroy me if I didn’t do good on an exam- but I want to do good on them. I don’t want to think I’ve got this magical safety net. 

I guess I’m just going to have to try and force myself to study. I don’t know how- but there’s got to be a way.

In other news, I had a good holiday. Yummy food for Thanksgiving, got to see Twilight with besties (Ehmulee and Nikki) on Wednesday, got to watch House with my vati on Tuesday and it was an extended episode… Ehh I had to work on Black Friday, which sucked, and the day after. Still, it’s money.

I really can’t wait till semester is over- I think I will make a post about my University experience here and my thoughts on it. I might not have had the experience I wanted, but I don’t want to forget what I’ve learned…. Now If only I could get to studying for the finals so I can just go home! This mental block needs to end.

 

Holy *insert expletive here*

I GOT A 100% ON MY ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY TEST!!!!!!!!

Hellz yes! Seriously, I want to through myself a P-a-r-t-y!

… but then I want to cancel it and start a riot because I think I utterly failed my Chemistry test… It was 70 questions, and out of those 70 there were around 36 that I had circled as being unsure of my answer. Which means I could fail… Now I have to wait and see. Gawd I h-a-t-e hate waiting to find out what I get on things. And my Chem teacher takes a bazillion years to post the grades..

Ugh, I just feel so miserable and yet joyful at the same time.

I mean, if I did in fact get all of those 36 questions wrong, that would give me a 34/70, which would be a 48.5%. That’s utterly horrible.. On my other tests I got a 92.5% and a 85.7%…. Maybe it will balance out okay? ugh, I really don’t know. I mean, I obviously might not have gotten all 36 of the ones I circled wrong, but I’d rather overestimate what I got right rather than underestimate.

Whyyyy does this have to spoil my A&P win? 

I should’ve studied Chem more…. but I was so burnt out from studying A&P that I felt like I had nothing left in me. Plus I am going home today and break has started- so I just want to go home. I definitely should’ve studied more…

Someone please make me feel better about this Chem test….. Pretty please?

*EDIT* Apparently I got a 75.5% on my chem test… I’m not sure how I feel about that. I thought I might’ve gotten like a 48%, so it’s way better than that, but still. I guess I’m just happy I passed. And averaged with my other tests I have an 84% average test score, so that’s a B, and I am pretty happy about that…

I guess I will now revel in my happiness that I got a fucking 100 percent on an Anatomy test.. 

*reveling*

 

1 Down, 1 to Go.

Anatomy & Physiology Test is D-O-N-E!!!!! Thank Esther Ludwig! I’m counting the minutes till the grades are posted- I may have a shot at having gotten a 100% on this. I’m crossing my fingers.

Now i just have my Chemistry test tomorrow.. Really not looking forward to that. But atleast that’s it. I have an optional test in Chinese, but I really don’t feel like going… SO I probably won’t. I don’t need the points, so whatevs. It would be good review, but I guess I am just lazy and feeling college burn out-ness. And I just reallyyyy want to go home.

So yeah, tomorrow schedule = Chem test. Sleep. Lounge about. Go home.

Curse my life- my dad has to work tomorrow so I can’t be picked up early… Although CATE JONES! might be able to drive me home.. I guess I’ll find out soon what’s going on. I really don’t know how I will concentrate for Chem at all lol.

But I’m so excited!!! Wednesday I get to go see Twilight with my besties! YAY!

My feminist heart dies a little bit when it comes to Twilight, but I still love it. The first book anyway, the love tends to go downhill after that. I hate Bella’s character a lot of the time, and sometimes their relationship is a little creepy/stalkerish. BUT I excuse all that because he is a vampire. That makes up for it for me. Supernatural hottie vampire. I use that excuse. mmmm Wednesday will be my guilty non-feminist pleasure time! woot!

And now, to celebrate that, some Edward Cullen man-candy.

Dammit- If I were at home I SOOO would’ve photoshopped Edward’s head onto a half naked man model… But, sadly, I am not- and my mac does not have the ability to do such this (at least that I know of) so you will all be without. Woe is you!

I must say I LOVE the first and last pictures. That face makes my heart sigh. LOL.

After movie Wednesday things start to go ‘blah’. Thanksgiving is thursday, but what do I get to look forward to there? My mom and sister being nonsocial jerks whilst we are celebrating with my dad’s family. Whatevs, I like them anyway. Then Friday and Saturday I work (ew)- but at least that’s money… My textbooks for next semester seem to be pricing out around $600- UGH! Then Sunday I don’t think I’ll do anything.

And then I come back, and will devote my entire being to studying for finals! Blegh. And then it’s finals week.

AND THEN I AM DONE WITH THIS UNIVERSITY!! yay! lol. Just gotta keep that in mind…

And then it’s back to work over break. double blegh… I guess at least then I’ll be home.

Yo Emily, when are we watching Interview with the Vampire? lolz please respond! (Maybe I could get someone to drive me to Hamburg before we go see Twilight? That way Nikki’s mom wouldn’t have to drive all the way to my house either. PLZZ??!! It could be a Vampire marathon!)

That is all for now. Might be the last post till I get back from break.

And now I will leave you with this awesome video (can you tell I get all my videos from Shakesville? lol I’m such a poser) Ta!

 

O.M.G.

Cutest thing ever:

my mouth just drops in AWWWWWWWWWWW!! SOOO CUTE!!!!

…

So, what else is new?

I got my Cedar Crest Schedule!!! YAY!!!

Ignore the dates at the top, i just picked a random week to put the times in… 

So I’m pretty happy with it… It sucks that I have my A&P Lab from 7 PM to 10 PM, but I think I’ll be able to deal with it. I’m much more energetic at night than in the morning anyway. Having A&P Lecture only twice a week also worries me a little, since it is SOO much information and all, but, again, hoping I’ll be able to deal with it. 

Definitely happy I got Gender Studies!! YAY! Though it doesn’t count as a Humanity, which kind of SUCKS…

Having Prob and Stat at 8 IN THE MORNING is going to suck.. but I need to learn to wake my ass up anyway.

Thursdays are going to be HEAVEN!!! *choir angels sing!* Just one class, and then only two on Friday and they are done by noon.. That’s going to R-O-C-K!

…

However, now that my initial excitement has begun to calm down, I am feeling a bit wiggy about being able to fit all of the courses I need into only two semesters.. I just don’t see how it will be possible. I might have to take summer courses or something, but that’s extra money that my parents really don’t have…

…WOE IS ME!!!

Not to mention I’m also trying to figure out how to satisfy all of my graduation requirement thingies.

UGH! 

Well anyway, I’m still excited! Even if my Sophomore year will be agonizingly full, I can DO IT!

.. but still worried about fitting it all in.. Seriously, there is no way it will work.. I’ve been pondering about it for like 3 hours today, and there’s no way. I had to stop myself. (I also have to stop reading ratemyprofessors.com… it’s addicting!)

In other news.

Still don’t know what I got on my Lab exam.. I’ll find that out Thursday I suppose.

and…. IN ONE WEEK I’LL BE HOME FOR THANKSGIVING BREAK!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! Thank Esther Ludwig!

Sucks that I have an Anatomy Test on Monday.. and a Chemistry test on Tuesday… WTF TEACHERS?!! Why so cruel?? Though I guess I’d rather have them before break than afterwords.

And on Wednesday I get to go see Twilight with my besties! YAY!

Thanksgiving on Thursday… Working on Friday and Saturday.. and Sunday.. I’m returning here. The last time I’ll be coming back from home to here. Then it’s the last full week, and then the week after that is finals. Thank Esther this is all almost over!

And now I am off to Skype with Nikki! yay!

 

My brain… it hurts…

ugh… My brain feels like it’s dying.

I just got done with my A&P lab exam… I’ve been freaking out about it all week. At least it’s over now. I don’t know how I did.. I didn’t leave feeling like it was the worst test I’ve ever taken and I didn’t know anything… But I didn’t feel like it was the easiest test ever and I got a 100% on it…. I dunno… I’d say at most I might’ve gotten 10 wrong. Maybe, It could be worse than that I guess. I’d rather assume that I did worse so when I actually get it back I’ll feel better. I looked through my lab book and found at least one two that I got wrong… but oh well. 

I’d like to read my Psych book, Anthro article, and look over Anatomy, for tomorrow, but I really don’t know if I’ll get around to it…. I kinda have to do laundry too. I might have to hold off till tomorrow for that. I just want to relax and calm my brain down right now.

Plus, Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy is on tonight! So at least I’ve got that to look forward to! yay!

That’s all for now.. sorry I haven’t been around much, mostly studying for this exam. But now that it’s done I can calm down a bit. I don’t have any exams until the 24th, so next week will be nice. And hopefully during that week I’ll finally get a chance to Skype with my friends lol (and I’m really sorry I didn’t Skype you Nikki! I think I was reading my Psych book to study for the test on Monday and forgot!).. And tomorrow I’ll get around to comment on my friends blogs and such, since I’ve been falling behind on that lol.

Gawd make my brain stop hurting.. and make the damn cramps go away… I HATE CRAMPS! CRAMP-HATE! Where’s my damn Midol?

lol imz teh crampy

 

我都她们很爱!

我都她们很爱! (I love you both very much!) I think… My Chinese could be totally wrong lol. (Wo dou ta men hen ai)?

My besties are the best! But they already knew that. lol.

I’m feeling a lot better.

Mostly due to my awesome friends.

But also because I got a 97% on my Psych test that I was so stressed about (yay! Beat my other 94%s!) and I got a 104% (一 百 0 四) on my Chinese exam! yay!

I guess that only grade I’m still bummed about is my A & P exam grade… I just feel like an 80% is bad.. UGH! And I have my lab exam Thursday.. that’s not going to be fun. I’m going to go study for it with someone from my class in 10 minutes though- we are going to be prepared for this.

I’m really trying to change my study habits around- so I actually study every subject a little bit each day, rather than cram everything at the end. That really doesn’t work very well lol.

I feel a little bit weird right now because everyone here is scheduling classes- except for me. Since I’m transferring I don’t think I’ll be able to schedule classes until AFTER the semester (even later than that, since it might take a week for them to get the the grades, let alone decide whether I’ll get the credits).. I just hope everything will work out. I’m worried I’ll be late and all the classes will be filled up, etc. Making me nervous. But hopefully since they are smaller it wont be as big of a deal? I dunno… Maybe I’ll email my transfer counselor and ask. I’m having a bit of a nervy b. about all this. Schedule stressed me the fugg out.

well, I’m off to study A & P. Ciao for now (再见!)

 

bleh

I’m feeling Twilight bummed, I have to say… I feel so left out with out the fun stuff. I guess I was looking forward, before the release date was changed, to see it with my friends. So much for that. Everyone has fun stuff planned- I let my roommate read my copy and now her and some other girl are going at midnight. ‘Wow, thanks for inviting me!’ – not. I don’t really want to see the movie with anyone here anyway though. My dad and sister had mentioned taking me to it, but I don’t know if I really want to see it with my dad. This is one of those movies you see with your friends, but that’s not happening. They’ll probably see it first anyway, and it won’t be the same. I’m pretty much at the point where I’m thinking ‘fuck it, I don’t want to go see it’… Like, I really don’t. I don’t even care anymore.

I’m so fucking bitter… What’s wrong with me?

blargh.

Dark clouds looming over right about now.

Plus I feel shitty about getting an 80% on my A & P test…. Hopefully tonight I’ll find out if I fared any better on my Psych test. And I’ve got a Lab exam Thursday. As my roommate would say “Fuck my life”.

Ugh.

I’m feeling like such a jealous bitch right now…. I hate being depressed.

God I hate it here, can this semester be over already. 

Yeah, I’ve met a few nice people, but some of their actions and words piss me right the fuck off. There are so many ignorant people here I can’t stand it.  I hate feeling so alone, especially when I see others making new friends and having good experiences and stuff.

Jealousy much, slightly angst-y and depress-y self?

Check yes on that.

Now I have to go do some damn Chem homework.

 

Stuck in my dorm this weekend

… and the next two.

Sooooooo this week I had a Chinese test on Thursday- I think I did pretty good on it. Friday I had my third A & P test…. *shudder* I don’t want to know how I did on it. This is the first time I’ve felt like I needed more time on her tests- I didn’t have enough time to go back and read through all my answers to make sure they were what I wanted. So I’m not really sure how I did. I’d like to say I got enough right to pass, but I’m really not sure… I guess maybe I do want to find out just to get it over with. blargh.

(warning – especially Nikki – this next paragraph might be.. eh, hard to read)

Other things that happened last week? On thursday I had lab and my teacher cut off frogs heads. It was just… weird. She told us all a speech about how they have to adhere to strict regulations for all of our animal experiments and so on. It was just really weird to see – I just felt bad for them because I knew what was coming. But, she cut off the head to severe the brain connection first, so they wouldn’t feel any pain. After that was when It got weird though- she scrambled the spinal cord, and when she did that they just froze- their muscles all when straight down and looked stiff. FREAKY. Then, I had my dead frog, and we were going to isolate the gastrocnemius (sp?) and connect it up with some needle things that connect to the computer so we could create an electrical signal to get the muscle to move. Well, to get that muscle out we had to cut the skin to get to the muscle. HOLY CRAP! FREAKIEST THING EVER! I said I would do it, because I don’t have a problem with doing the dirty animal touching/cutting- it doesn’t really bother me or gross me out much. But this was just weird! Everytime I went to cut the skin, the frog would MOVE! Like, seriously move, like it’s alive move. I swear I tried to cut it like 10 times and everytime it moved- then resulting, everytime, in my jumping and freaking out. I knew it wasn’t alive, but when something moves it’s hard not to think alive. Our teacher pretty much said that most of our reflexes are in our spinal cord, so even if the brain is not attached the spinal cord will still react. FREAKY!

soo that’s about it.

I’ve got a Psych test on Monday, and my Lab exam is on thursday… UGH! Thursday is going to SUCK! I’ve got class: 9:30-10:45, 12:30-1:45, 2:00-4:50, then my lab exam from 5:30-6:45… WHY????? I’m going to be in the lab for forever!

And then next week I don’t have anything though, so yay!

Week after that -and this really sucks- I’ve got an A & P test Monday, Chem test Tuesday, and then it’s Thanksgiving break Wednesday! Whyyyy do I have to have two tests before Thanksgiving????? Oh well, I guess it’s better than after, since one week later it’s finals! I can’t believe I’ve only got like a month left of school! yay!

Now I have to start worrying about all the stuff that needs to get taken care of for me to transfer.. blargh. It all feels so overwhelming..

well, that’s all for now I suppose!

(why the hell am I up so darn early? It’s 9:30! lol)

(and yay for President-elect Obama!)